Dear Mom and Dad

its hurt !!! this song for my Mom and Dad :

Because of you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did 

I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery 

I will not break the way you did 

You fell so hard 

I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far 

Because of you 

I never stray too far from the sidewalk 

Because of you 

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt 

Because of you 

I find it hard to trust 

Not only me, but everyone around me 

Because of you 

I am afraid 

I lose my way 

And it's not too long before you point it out 

I cannot cry 

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes 

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh

Every day of my life 

My heart can't possibly break 

When it wasn't even whole to start with 

Because of you 

I never stray too far from the sidewalk 

Because of you 

I learned to play on the safe side 

So I don't get hurt 

Because of you 

I find it hard to trust 

Not only me, but everyone around me 

Because of you 

I am afraid 

I watched you die 

I heard you cry

Every night in your sleep 

I was so young 

You should have known better than to lean on me 

You never thought of anyone else 

You just saw your pain 

And now I cry 

In the middle of the night 

For the same damn thing

Because of you 

I never stray too far from the sidewalk 

Because of you 

I learned to play on the safe side 

So I don't get hurt 

Because of you 

I tried my hardest just to forget everything 

Because of you 

I don't know how to let anyone else in 

Because of you 

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty 

Because of you 

I am afraid 

Because of you

Because of you

ya Because of you (Mom & Dad), semua yang kulakukan atas dasar paksaan dari mereka. Mulai dari sekolah, teman bergaul, dilarang kemana-mana kecuali dapat izin dari mereka ! I know its's normal for some people, but nobody knows what someone's feel, right ?? ya memang tak ada yang tau, kebanyakan dari mereka hanya memendam segala kepedihan dihati mereka dan tak ingin seseorang pun tahu apa isi hatinya. Begitu pula denganku, saya hanya bisa sabar dengan apa yang papa & mamaku inginkan. saya selalu berpikir dalam hati "Mungkin mereka melakukan hal itu demi kebaikan saya juga" terus dan terus berpikir seperti itu. tapi lama kelaman saya juga tidak tahan dengan semua itu, saya juga mau memilih sekolah sesuai keinginan saya sendiri sama seperti teman-teman saya yg lain yang memilih sekolahnya atas dasar kemauan mereka bukan kemauan orang tua!! saya juga mau bergaul dengan siapa saja, saya tahu yang mana yang baik dan yang mana yang benar, so PLEASE.. just TRUST me !! 

But deep in my heart : "One day.. I'll make you proud, I promise"